Currently, my procedure for divorced spouses is handled just like deceased spouses.  I update the marital status on the Bio 1 to divorced.  I leave the ex-spouse in the spouse tab.  I have created a relationship code of ex-spouse.  My gifts are initially linked, but after divorced I no longer soft credit gifts.  Of course, the addresse & salutation fields are updated.  Lastly, I create a new record for the ex-spouse if applicable.

I am just curious if this is how other organizations handle this.

I generally do as you described, except I do not leave the ex-spouse 'in the spouse' tab.  Not having them linked as 'spouse' automatically stops the soft crediting issue so I don't have to deal with it.  I leave it as a relationship of 'former spouse/partner'  I do not leave spouse tab marked as it's cleaner and clearer to me that names in this box are 'spouse,' especially as in many cases I will have a 'new' name to enter as spouse (and then also change marital status).  

We are having a roaring debate in our office on how to handle deceased spouses.  We have the constituent's marital status (and reciprocal relationship )as WIDOWED with the deceased spouse's relationship code as Spouse - Deceased.  The problem is one of us hard headed users wants to deselect SPOUSE in the relationship record and the other doesn't.  Problem arose when another staff member pulled a query for an invitation that included spouse name -- and she got a bunch of deceased persons names.  So, if you are in the "keep the spouse box clicked" camp, how do you resolve that problem without too much extra fuss? 

We usuall uncheck "spouse" checkbox unless both are deceased. If you don't do this it might create a HUGE mess when you do pulls for different purposes especially if you want to send newsletters/direct mail appeals to donors and want to address to both.

We always keep the spouse checkbox checked.  But instead of using First, last and Spouse names, when mailing, we use Addresee.  When we mark someone deceased, we always update their Addressee field and Salutation fields so that it is correct.  That works great for us.

Addresee Field:  Mr. & Mrs. John Mills

Salutation Field: Jonny & Jane

If Jane dies, we keep the spouse box checked, but change John's Addressee field to be Mr. John Mills, and his salutation to be Jonny.  We export those fields for letters, and we haven't had any complaints yet.

We leave the Spouse checked. Things we do:

The surviving spouse has a constituent record created if they don't have one. Things we check for or do: Fix Addressee and salutations to be just to the surviving spouse. make sure the send mail checkbox is checked on the address. Make sure they are marked Head of Household. Gifts are merged onto the account from the deceased record.

Make sure the deceased spouse is not getting soft credits for any new gifts. Make sure the deceased addressee and salutations are updated to be just their name. Make sure the Honor/Mem tab is filled out correctly with surviving spouse acknowledgee.

We've had problems with this too, not for mailings, we use addressee for that. But if someone creates a master list to use for a mailing and for rsvp's and uses the first names on the rsvp list, deceased spouses have shown up. It creates a stir because those who don't understand the database assume that something is wrong in the database and worry that we have been sending mail to both donors all along. Right now, I am handling it by exporting the "spouse deceased" field as well. I then sort the list by that first and get rid of all the "yes" names in one big select and cut move. It's not the best way to handle it but is working for now.

I may run into other ramifications down the road but problems with addressee/salutation, spouse records pulling is exactly why I uncheck spouse box on relationship window.  Addressee/salutations automatically adjust so don't have to worry about not getting them all edited.  Spouse name won't pull when outputting that field.

My 2 cents...